It's So Awful I Can't Stand It!
Hell is to experience maximum, unrelenting, misery in despair, forever. Hell is awful. Twenty years-to-life is merely very inconvenient.
When one tells himself that any event, however bad, painful, or inconvenient, is in reality "awful," "horrible," "terrible," or "catastrophic," he is likely to believe it. It's nonsense of course, but one often believes what one sincerely tells himself.
Following the notion that something is catastrophic usually comes anxiety. Anxiety is one emotion we use to disturb ourselves when we "awfulize." Anxiety means, "This is going to get so bad I can't stand it, and its never going to end!" The soul in Hell stands it, which actually makes it awful. "I can't stand it," follows the catastrophizing notion and implies horror beyond comprehension. See the anxiety? The nice thing about this nonsense is that it is nonsense, so one doesn't have to believe it.
But, if one continues to believe something is awful, that it will get so bad he can't stand it, that its never going to end, so he makes himself anxious as powerfully as he can, what happens next? Well, he shuts off any possibility to manage well; after all, if it were manageable it wouldn't be awful, would it? He also is likely to ignore the fact that he is standing it, while he screams that he can't stand it. Crazy isn't it?
Believing rationally that things can be bad, even very bad, one still finds some room to manage. That means there is hope that a truly successful resolution can be reached.
Hope and despair cannot share the scene together. It's one or the other. Panic is one's last desperate attempt to avoid despair. The result of awfulizing or catastrophizing is panic. Catastrophizing, therefore, leads to panic. Recognizing reality as finite or limited; not absolutistically bad but just bad, painfully, but tolerably bad, means to maintain hope.
Try one of these exercises:
- During one single day, on a page titled: Worst Possible Events write as much as but no more than 1 page describing the worst possible events that could happen to you. Then each day following, on pages titled: What's Really Awful About Worst Possible Events write as much as but no more than 1 page a day describing accurately that these may be bad events, but hardly so bad that you would never be able to get any pleasure or satisfaction in life; and therefore you could not participate effectively in your life ever again until 3 days after you are dead.
- Write 2 minutes a day for a week why any event cannot be a catastrophe. You may be amazed that you can do it!
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