Depression

Emily is a sweet 28-year-old college graduate. She is independent with suitable employment in a corporation where she is appreciated by her superiors and by her peers. She hoped for marriage, but considered letting Carter, her boyfriend of 8 months, move in with her. She didn't want to be pushy and the distance is difficult. She wanted comfort and stability.

Four months ago Emily discovered that Carter is seeing another woman. She was immediately distraught, confused, disoriented and lost. Her world had collapsed. Emily focused on her pain and confusion; she let her employment deteriorate and she stopped the routine care of her apartment. She stopped calling friends and began isolating herself.

Emily is depressed.

What might Emily be continuously telling herself to keep herself down?

"What is wrong with me that Carter would cheat on me like this?"
Unstated hidden meaning: "I must be ugly and worthless."
"This is awful."
Unstated hidden meaning: "This is so bad I can't ever recover."
"My life is meaningless now and will never have meaning again."
Unstated hidden meaning: "I am hopeless."
"My hopes and dreams are shattered."
Unstated hidden meaning: "As they should never be!"
"I'll never be able to put my life back together again."
Unstated hidden meaning: "I am helpless."

So Emily is feeling helpless, hopeless, and worthless. This could be depression, as Aaron Beck, Albert Ellis, and others show us.

Emily may benefit from reviewing her thinking in order to rid herself of irrational beliefs and strengthening her rational beliefs. She may find that she can cope, make a meaningful life despite serious and painful setbacks. Certainly Emily's experience is unfortunate and difficult, though, it is hardly catastrophic.

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